So I have been thinking about this blog all week because I didn’t want to write about things that I have already talked about in class discussions and in my application papers or reflective journal. And then this happened…
I was having a conversation with a parent from my children’s school. Keep in mind we attend a small, Catholic school that has a very diverse culture of children from the suburbs as well as the inner city. The conversation was in regards to the NYS testing that will be going on over the next few weeks. Many families at our school are choosing to opt out and she asked me my opinion on why I was opting my children out and so many others were. Long story short, in NYS there is a lot of political nonsense going on with the testing because the company, Pearson, a very large text book and test creating company is the largest financial backer of our current governor. Our schools in NYS are very pressured to teach to the tests all year, they are used to evaluate our teacher’s performance, and are really not a good thing in NY. Our governor has threatened to take funding away (including Title I) from schools who either do not do well or schools who do not have enough participation. So, when I explained all of this to the mom, her comment to me was “Well, good then we all need to opt out at our school so maybe we will lose funding and get all these kids out of here that don’t belong here” When I heard her say that I just could not believe my ears. I asked her what she meant by that. She clarified by saying that “Well our school is within city limits, so we probably getting funding from the state to allow all these city kids to come here” Number one, I was offended because my kids are “city” kids. We live in a nicer part of our city (Rochester, NY has the 5th highest poverty rate in the country) but we still live in the city. Number two, I was offended because we had a lot of choices when it came to choosing a Catholic school for our children and we chose the one we are at because it was diverse. I don’t want my children growing up in an all-white school with no diversity! The world is a diverse place, they need to learn to embrace it and respect all cultures.
By her making these statements she absolutely diminished equality for these children that she was referring to. Their parents clearly care enough about them to send them to a school where they can get a great education and not have to deal with the crime, the bullying, and the lack of support. Our city school district in Rochester is very low performing, is full of poverty, high classroom numbers and there is not a lot of support from the administration. There is also a very low graduation rate and crime rate in and around the schools. So these parents, although many of them still living in bad neighborhoods and in poverty, are doing the one thing they can do to get their children out of the cycle of poverty and that is to provide them with a better education. She clearly did not feel that they deserve that equality! I was sickened.
It is very clear that my feelings about this were anger, disappointment, and uncertainty. I was wondering how many other parents feel this way and did she think that my kids didn’t belong at this school because we live in the city also? I felt sad for her child because what is she teaching him by her having these feelings? He clearly is not learning about the amazing world of diversity and culture. He is going to grow up and have the same feelings and beliefs.
In order to turn this incident into an opportunity of greater equality, she would have to change the way she sees the school and see’s these families. She would need to look at her own biases, personal beliefs, feelings and prejudices and then be willing to better educate herself on the importance of children being in a diverse situation. Our school is not a dangerous school and far from being unsafe. Yes, maybe the incidents of unacceptable behaviors may be performed by children other than white children. However, those children still have some personal issues at home that they are dealing with such as poverty and single parent homes. That does not mean their parents don’t care about them. This parent expects all the children to be perfect and just because it is a Catholic school, that all is going to be perfect. So far from the truth! I wonder if she realizes that my white, 7 year old daughter has sever anxiety that she is treated for and one time she through a pair of scissors at a teacher? I bet she would have different thoughts about my “city” kids if she knew that.