Ways in which we can solve conflict with others and avoid having conflict when communication with others-
Non Violent Communication or NVC is based on compassion, empathy, and understanding when communication with others. Communication and involvement with one another involves non violent strategies, deepening understanding and connections with each other as well as conflict resolution (Center of Non Violent Comunication, cnvc.org).
The 3R’s promote respectful, reciprocal and responsive interactions between teachers, parents, and colleagues. It is important to be able to use these when communicating; especially with colleagues, because we are working for the same goal and that is to do what is best for children. We need to promote positive learning environments, model positive communication and be respectful to the beliefs of others (Corso, 2007).
I do not have a full time job at this time, however I am a substitute teacher at a school that enrolls pre-k-6th grade. I do work there pretty regularly. There is a teacher assistant that I have worked with many times and her and I tend to have disagreements on teaching styles and ways in which we should do things when it comes to the kindergarten students. There was one day when she was in charge of teaching a math lesson. The school follows the common core math program and this classroom in particular is very traditional meaning they teach kindergarten students via workbooks when doing Math. There is not a lot of hands on learning going on, just many, many worksheets. It really is a difficult situation for me anytime I am working in that classroom. There was a particular day in which we had hit the 60 minute point of doing math worksheets with these 5 year olds. They were very restless, starting to act out, and no longer paying attention. She kept scolding them for getting off task. I made a few comments about how I thought they were getting frustrated because we had been doing these math papers for an hour and they had already reached their limit. She insisted that we had to finish (we probably had another 20 minutes to go). I explained to her that I thought we needed to stop because they were no longer even learning in an effective manor because they were at the level of frustration. She would not listen and became defensive saying that “they always have to finish, we cannot stop now” It was hard for me because I did not feel that what we were doing was developmentally appropriate. This situation happened again the next time I was in that classroom. This time, I put my foot down and told her that we were only doing Math worksheets for 30 minutes and then if she wanted to continue doing math, we could do some hands on learning centers. She agreed, but not with out hesitation.
I think that a few things were going on between her and I. There was certainly not a respectful understanding between us about how the math was taught in this classroom. For me, it was not my room and I probably should have just let her do what they typically do. However in my mind, I was the teacher for they day so I should be able to make the decisions. I was not being respectful that this was where she worked everyday and it really is more her class than mine. We could have solved this situation better by having a non violent conversation about what we were both feeling and how we both felt about the math lessons. Maybe there is a reason why they do math worksheets for 60 plus minutes a day. While I do not personally believe that there is any justification for this in a kindergarten classroom, maybe there is in this one. I have not had a chance to discuss these situations with her because I have not worked with her in awhile when teaching Math. I have worked with her in other kindergarten classrooms, but not during Math, in this particular classroom that I speak of. I still want to be able to solve this conflict with her by asking her questions about why she feels the way she does about the Math and why she became so defensive and passionate with me when I said we needed to stop. Maybe she felt threatened by me? Maybe my approach was all wrong? Maybe she feels pressured by the actual classroom teacher so she is used to doing it that way? I need to listen to her, respect her reasoning, and be responsive to what she has to say. I also want to be able to tell her my beliefs because when I come in as a substitute teacher, although I know it is not my classroom and I should be doing what the teacher left for me to do, I still have an obligation to those children in my care to make sure I am promoting a positive learning environment for them. I was definitely not promoting that by allowing math to go on to a point of causing these children stress and frustration. Any learning that get to that point needs to stop and be re-directed.
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